Novel Times, Novel Measures

Back home and back in the swing after 10 wonderfully challenging days of silence and meditation. Where to begin, what to say? Sitting in my basement room this evening, continuing preparations for my drive westward, I can almost forget that the course ever happened. Certainly I did not leave the meditation center in Massachusetts with a drastically revised worldview or any striking insights into my person or reality. And despite some early fears, reintegration to normal life – vis a vis a large picnic here at my Grandmother’s house with the extended family – was smooth and surprisingly pleasant. The subsequent days have passed without incident, indeed, flowing and productive. But it just may be that this ease betrays some deep and meaningful changes resulting from my recent intense practice of Vipassana meditation. Such striking subtlety does seem to be an appropriate means to begin dissecting my experience during the past week and a half.

First, let me say that I was not really anticipating any truly shocking revelations about the nature of reality from Vipassana. Although I may have had some latent hopes that a hidden door to vast inner worlds would be unlocked during the course, I was not so naive to expect such. Rather, my intention all along has been to gain some insight as to the practice and technique of meditation in a way that cannot be learned from books or gleaned from theory. After reading much Eastern thought and philosophy I knew the time had well come to forsake the intellectual for the experiential. That is exactly what I got.

The very basis of Vipassana meditation as taught by S. N. Goenka is solely that of individual experience, albeit arduously developed and intensely focused. For this reason the benefits of the technique are seemingly subtle at first yet strike at a very deep level of the psyche. A brief overview would be helpful. Supposedly this technique was the method by which Gautama Buddha reached enlightenment under a bodhi tree, next to a river in India, 25 centuries ago. There were many meditations techniques at the time but his contribution was the insight that the only true path to liberation is rigorously observing bodily sensations across and through our body. Buddha discovered that all of our misery originates in the space between sensations and our reactions to them, either pleasurable or not. By slowing reconditioning oneself not to blindly react to various stimuli, whether of the 5 physical senses or the mental, one can eventually eradicate the sources of misery – craving and aversion. Pleasurable reactions lead to craving which can in turn result in clinging; displeasure leads to aversion which in the extreme becomes hatred. Hence, this technique aims to develop a faculty of awareness so fine and an equanimity so strong that one can penetrate the deepest levels of conditioning. In the process, one discards all attachment and negativity and the ego falls away, revealing the true nature of body, mind and life.

Such a short exposition cannot do justice to the theory of the technique. However, with Vipassana, one need not any theory to practice, understand and gain benefit. The guiding principle is experiential, meaning that all wisdom originates from within the boundaries of one’s own body and experience. By scouring the depths below the conscious mind, one will eventually come to a realization that we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Vipassana promises that, with patience, perseverance, and lots of hard, proper work with the technique, anyone can rid themselves of negativity and lead a liberated life. Hence the motto (of sorts): “Bhavatu sabbe manghalam,” or, “May all beings be happy”.

My experiences after the course have offered glimmers of such benefits. Returning to the extended family I encountered upon my first day back in the real world provides some evidence. Normally I am not one for family functions. While I love my family, large events are not my preference for interaction with them. Regardless, I was able to calmly enjoy the afternoon with a very diverse range of personalities with no inner turbulence. Similarly, the last few days doing some repairs and maintenance on my Mercedes have been unmarked by much frustration or agitation. Despite some difficulties and tedium, I found myself whistling the time away. Well, today actually caught me muttering more than whistling. But nonetheless, the general trend is there. It would seem that my capacity for tolerance and equanimity regarding external affairs of various sorts has increased. Even if that increase is slight, I’ll take it.

What does Vipassana, or any type of meditation for that matter, hold for my future? Quite frankly, I don’t know. Great benefits can be had from embracing this technique because I have already begun to observe them within me. Of course, I would like nothing more than to successfully commit to an hour of sitting each morning and evening. Right now, though, with continual transition and upheaval, that doesn’t seem possible. I don’t think I will really know what sort of position Vipassana will occupy in my life until I am again settled in my own space. Perhaps this is a rationalization, but it contains a healthy dose of my own brand of realism.

So San Francisco, and so much else, awaits. Go west, young man! I’ll keep you posted on what I find along the way.

AN INTERESTING NOTE: One other possible benefit that I observed in the physical realm: while jogging during the past two days I have found a great resevoir of energy and have run much further and faster than my normal routine prior to the Vipassana course. In actuality, I have not done much cardio exercise at all since before I left for Central America in June. Factoring this along with the low caloric intake and irregular sleep patterns during the course, I was anticipating a long period of gradually rebuilding my stamina. Needless to say I was quite surpised to find ample reserves during my last two runs. Goenka does say that the benefits of Vipassana ripple outwards into many areas of one’s life. Maybe 2 hours a day meditating doesn’t seem that long after all…

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